


New life in Eden

by escapisthero



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Blow Jobs, Coming Out, Family Don't End in Blood, Family Feels, Hand Jobs, Human Castiel, M/M, Pining, Slice of Life, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-14
Updated: 2018-11-14
Packaged: 2019-08-23 18:38:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 15,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16624331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/escapisthero/pseuds/escapisthero
Summary: When Castiels uncle dies, Castiel is the sole heir of his store and cabin near the Canadian border . Castiel moves to try to restart his life. But when Dean and his daughter moves back to town, after Dean's divorce Castiels old feelings is threatening Castiels peace.First love can be hard to kill.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story is loosely based on the lovely movie Big Eden.
> 
> Not beta read and English is not my first language.

_ This is my life now. Owner of a small store in a small town in the edge of the known world.  _

 

Castiel Milton had not planned for this life. But when his beloved uncle died, Joshua had left all his belongings to Castiel. Castiel whom had packed his few possessions in his truck and moved the same day he got the deed. 

The inheritance had come at the right time. Castiel had no job, no lovelife and drowning in a feeling of being lost. He was nearly 40 and had to start all over again.

Castiel had worked in stores, administration and care homes. Almost always temporary jobs. 

So he needed the stable life his onkel had given him. But he had wanted to have his uncle more. Castiel and his parents had spent every summer at uncle Joshua's cabin by the lake near the Canadian border when he was a child. Castiel had loved the quietness. And he had continued visit a week every summer and a couple of days at Christmas. It was his safe haven and uncle Joshua his rock. 

 

Castiel had never told his parents that he was gay. They had died in a car crash when he was 22, never knowing who Castiel really was. 

The week after the funeral he told his uncle Joshua. They were sitting on the back porch watching the lake as the sun was setting. 

“I am gay” those three words were the the easiest and hardest word that had ever left his mouth. 

The old man had just smiled and said: 

“that you are”

“Did you know, uncle?”

“Yes, son, I knew”

Castiel had started to cry. He cried for his parents, his secret and for himself. 

Joshua had just held him and let him cry.

That was the nature of Joshua. Gentle silence. That was like a blanket of comfort and security.

 

Castiel missed him enormously.

 

The last miles was as beautiful as always. A winding road, trees, lakes and mountains. It was just weeks before he had come for the funeral. The high summer was ending. Soon autumn would arrive and Castiel longed for the changing colours of the trees. 

He stopped at his store first. His store. His.

Milton's corner was as he remembered. Only he could see that it needed new paint and some love and care. He understood why Joshua had demanded that Castiel should make the store his own and paint the “damn thing”. The roof had Joshua done just a few years prior. So it was mainly cosmetic things that needed to be done.

Castiel was thankful for he didn't have to make any mayor renovation. That would just break his heart.

The store was to his surprise open. Joshua had always worked alone.

The small bell at the door announced his arrival.

“Hello?!” He called, afraid to find the store empty. Or looted.

“Castiel! I am so glad to see you boy!”

The strong arms of Bobby Singer around his frame was a rare treat. Bobby was a good but grumpy man. Filled by warm but though love. 

“Mr Singer, good to see you.”

“We have taken care of your store.”

“Thank you. We?” 

“We, the town, made a schedule. To keep the store open and stacked. We made a list of what needs replacing.”

“that's a big help. I am grateful.”

“ No more grateful than we are that you are here. We were afraid that no-one would take over Milton's.”

“Joshua would haunt me if I would abandoned his baby. So it was a easy choice.”

“come let me show you the ropes”

 

Dinner at the cabin was a couple of PJs and tea on the porch. Someone had cleaned the cabin and changed the linens. Say what you want about Eden but they had made him feel welcomed. His boxes stood in the master bedroom. He had planned to sleep in the guest bedroom. He was not ready to claim his uncle's room as his own. 

The silence was welcomed. He had dreamt of it in New York. Longed for it. He was free.

But suddenly he started to cry. He had a life and mission but he was alone. He was the last Milton. The line would end with him. Sure he would be one in this community, but who would really know him? Could he be open about who he is or would he be run out of town? Or just spend his life in solitude?

“Maybe I should get a cat” he said to the large lake.


	2. Big News

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And so the bittersweet fluff begins.

Over a year later

 

Milton's corner had not looked so nice in many, many years. First of all the sign was restored with love. The trimmings and walls repainted.

The inside was light and organized. But still homely. And a state of the art coffee maker was the town's pride and joy. It was the town's gossip place. Every Wednesday the lokal Book club had its meeting in the sofas by the coffee maker. Castiel always got to go home with some of the treats the book club had brought with them. And the latest news.

Behind the counter Joshua's will and testament was hanged in a nice gold picture frame. He had when he started the renovation he had to show some old-timers that he had Joshua's blessing. Some had really needed to read it. Some even two times. And as a joke Joshua's will hanged for all to see.

Even if the old timers had grumbled they liked the end result. The expanded porch of the store had smooth benches and tables there travelers happily took a break from the road. He was next door to Harvels unmanned petrol station. So that helped to bring outsiders in the store. 

The store would never make Castiel rich but he could live comfortably. And that was enough for him. His living expenses was small. Joshua had paid of all his dept long before he died. Leaving Castiel with cash to make his store his own. He had not expected to love his work. But he loved to help with getting everything people needed. Sometimes it meant to be the middleman between the old customer and an internet store. He had made the wall behind the sofas a small library. The library shelf was mainly books from Joshua and himself. Everything from fiction to cookbooks and how to books. And children's books. People loved his library. It helped the citizens that didn't have the means to travel to the city for their needs. 

Free wi-fi was something many loved.

He had a student, Claire that was taking an online college course. She could spend all days in his store. He had even got a small table and chair and gotten her a space of her own near the coffee machine.

 

It was small things but he felt like he and his store made a difference.

 

But even if he had people around him all day he felt alone. He had gone on the town barbecue, feasts and town meetings but he didn't have become more than a townsperson. Some of it was his fault. He was guarded. Afraid to let them in.

 

This day was the day of the book club. The day he heard the best and worse news. 

Dean Winchester was moving back to town.

Dean Winchester was Bobby Singer's boy. Not by blood but by heart. Bobby had raised Dean and his little brother Sam when their father more or less abandoned them and town.

Castiel had been friends with the brothers. His childhood summers were: his uncle's cabin, the lake and the Winchesters. 

Dean was also Castiel's first crush and love. Not that Dean knew that. Because all the signs pointed to that Dean was straight as a arrow. Castiel had suffered in silence for years. 

When Dean was 18 he had become an single dad to his daughter Emma. Her mother had left town after birthing Emma. She had not wanted to be caught in the small town life. But Dean with help of his family had become a great dad and at 25 Dean had found a new love, Lisa. So he had left town with her, Emma and a couple of years later they got Ben, their son.

But now they had gotten a divorce and Dean was coming home.

Castiel longed to see Dean. But he knew that his misplaced love was in danger to resurface. If they were to rekindle their friendship. 

Because who couldn't love Dean Winchester?

He was funny, beautiful like a fairytale, kind, strong and so warm. Castiel didn't know if he was ready for that bittersweet feeling to dominate his life again. But he was an expert in holding his emotions in check. So even if he would fall again no-one else needed to know that.

 

Bobby came in later that day. Ordering some fresh linens and pillows. 

“And some lady things…” 

“Lady things?”

“So Emma will feel welcomed…”

Grumpy sweet old man. 

“Do you mean hygiene products or some nice nicknacks?” 

“Nicknacks. I hope for the the love of God that she handle the other things on her own!” 

“I will find something for her.”

“Thank you Castiel!” Bobby walked out. 

Castiel smiled and placed Bobbys order. For Emma he ordered some new curtains and art supplies. Last he saw her she had always been drawing. Hopefully she still liked to draw. And a grumpy stuffed bear that made Castiel think of Bobby. Hopefully Emma would see the resemblance.

 

The week passed by as always. Bobby got his things. He even got a chuckle of Bobby by the bear.

Castiel was keeping himself busy. He had found out that time flies by faster if you do.

  
  


Castiel was stacking the shelves when Bobby, Emma and Dean walked through the door. 

“Hello, Dean, Emma. Mr Singer”

“For fuck sake call me Bobby everyone else does it!”

“If you say so…” 

“Oh no, you don't! Say my name boy” the old man wouldn't take no for an answer.

“Yes, Bobby, can I help you this fine day?”

“Uncle Cas!” 

He got a armful of a bubbly young woman. 

“Hello Emma. I am glad to see you.”

“Thank you for the things you hinted Bobby to buy. I love them.”

“Of course, my dear. Just tell me if you need anything else.” Emma was turning into a tall beauty. She had same green eyes like her father and long golden wavy hair. 

“You are the best, uncle Cas.” She didn't let him go.

Cas looked down at her. Feeling like a huge teddybear. He looked up to Dean.

Handsome Dean. Who wore a sad smile. 

Castiel guessed that even if Emma was almost a grown woman, she had lost the only woman that had been as a mother to her.

“Cas”

Dean came and Cas was stuck in a group hug. Not that he minded.

Dean smelled good. But it was agony for his nerves.

Castiel was a tall man but Dean towered over him. 

“Hello Dean.” 

“I am so glad that you have moved here so I didn't have to be here alone.” 

“It is not as bad as that here Dean.”

“Shut up Cas” 

Castiel didn't remember when someone had wanted to hold on to him. The only one that had hugged him this long was his mother and Joshua. 

“Alright children let Castiel go so he can get some work done.” 

“Gramps, come on! Hugging is good for you. Come on you old softy.” 

“Anyone else that want to group hug. Emma has ordered one.” Bobby called out in the store before hugging around Emma and Dean. 

To Castiel surprise Claire joined. She hugged Cas and Emma.

“I am Claire.” 

“Emma” 

Cas heart was warm. He hoped they would bond. Claire had always seemed alone. 

Dean seemed be thinking the same because his big brilliant smile meet Castiel. 

“Is this enough hugging for you, Emma?” Bobby mumbled.

“Yeah. For now.”

Castiel had an inkling of why Emma was a bit clinging. Ben was not with them. He seemed to be with Lisa. He didn't know if that was something permanent.

“So what can I help you with? Or are you just here to brighten my day?” Cas asked the Singer-Winchesters family. 

“Cas will you come for dinner tomorrow?” asked Dean.

“Claire, you can come to! Please don't leave me alone with the old people.” Emma said and grasped Claire's hands in hers.

“Sure, I can come” Claire had a small blush forming on her cheeks. Castiel felt for her. No one could say no to a Winchester.

“Great! Come after you close the shop!” Emma said to the both of them.

“Should I bring anything?” asked Cas.

“We'll call if we need anything.” said Bobby.

And like a storm they left. Leaving Castiel and Claire feeling… drenched.

“So that was Emma Winchester. I haven't seen her in years. She was always fun to play with. She didn't seem to remember me…”

“She will. Or she will get better memories with you now. Do you want me to give you a ride to their house tomorrow?”

“Thanks, that would be great.”

They continued their day as always, in comfortable silence.

When it was time to close the store Claire got her things said goodbye and left. Leaving Castiel to close in peace. 

At the cabin the usual peanut butter and jelly sandwich dinner awaited. When Castiel got home from work he didn't have the energy to cook. Today he had one cooked egg and an banana on the side as well. Sometimes he had thought about cooking dinner at the kitchen by the store. But it always stopped at a thought. The truth was he didn't felt inspired about food when he was alone. It just was something he needed to do.

But eating dinner at the back porch was the highlight of his day. The lake was his source of energy. But this night his gaze roamed to the lights on the other side of the lake. To the side where the Singer scrap yard and garage was. The Singers property didn't lay by the lake. Health and safety dictated it.

He had felt the pull. Because he had never fallen out of love with Dean, he was heading there again. Maybe if he was lucky someone new would steal Dean away before he fell too much in love. Better to be heartbroken before he had fallen too far.

He had have some relationships during the years. Some of his exes he had truly loved. But they had all ended one way or the other. 

Dean was his first love, the one that never happened. Maybe if he had told Dean he could have been over it. But he felt too much of a chicken too endangered their friendship. He didn't think that Dean was an homofob but it is another thing when someone you don't want confesses…

 

He got in and washed his dishes. 

The cabin had not changed at all. He still sleeps in the guestroom. His focus had been the store. Logically he knew that he needed to make the cabin his own as well. But how? He had no clear picture.

He took a book to bed with him and he spent the last hours in bed reading. 

 

Castiel took a quick wash and changed his clothes in the bathroom of the store when he had closed the store the next day. He offered Claire to use the bathroom, if she wanted. She accepted. 

He packed a bottle of Bobby's favourite whiskey, soft drinks for the girls and a six pack of beer to Dean. He used a wicker basket to tie it together. 

He was glad that Claire was coming along with him. It took away some of his nervousness.

 

When Claire had checked the mirror three times he had to say.

“You look lovely, Claire.” 

“Thanks. I don't know why I am so nervous! It is just a dinner with a friend and her family! It's not a date!”

“Did you wanted it to be a date?”

“I would not have said no too that…”

“Good. You would be a great couple. Friends or romantic.” 

“Thank you.”

Claire seemed to think before she opened her mouth.

“I am bisexual or maybe pansexual, I am not sure.”

“I am glad that you told me.”

“You are the first I ever have told! Fuck, I feel lighter.”

“Then I am honoured.”

“You?”

“I have only fallen in love with men.”

“You have fooled me! I thought about you being a asexual.”

“I have not been attracted to anyone in town. Yet.”

“Not even Dean?”

Castiel could not stop the blush.

“Oh…”

“Please don't tell him or Emma. I don't want it to be awkward between us. Dean is one of my oldest friends.”

“How long have you had a thing for Dean?”

“I was maybe 14 when I realized that it was more than friendship I felt.”

“Oh shit! That's like over 20 years!”

“Yeah. But when I was in New York I could forget about him for a while.”

“And now he is here. Man, you are strong.”

“Thank you. We are here” 

“Come on old sap, let's go and hit on some straight people.”

Castiel was laughing when Dean appears at the front door.

“Hello Dean”

“Heya Cas, Claire, Emma is in the living room.”

“Thanks man” she bumped her shoulder with Castiel before she went into the house with his basket of drinks.

“She likes you”

“She likes me because I am the provider of free wi-fi. Therefore someone to be a friendly with.”

Dean's laugh was not beautiful but free.

“Dammit, Cas I have missed you. Where have you been?”

“Failing in New York, then I moved here.”

“Being a success, I have heard. Bobby always talked about whatever thing you have done to the store in his weekly phone calls. That's why it didn't felt so terrible to go home, when it ended with Lisa.”

“Are you alright about it?”

“I don't know. It feels like a failure. That she wanted to throw away 15 years like that. My pride is shattered. She left me for someone else. But I am…” he started to form tears in his eyes. “Ben isn't mine. He is his child! That fucking James. I raised Ben but I will not be allowed to see him grow! That damn DNA test. She made James do it. Not me. I just got divorce papers and a DNA test result. Your boy isn't yours by blood anymore” 

Castiel opened his arms and Dean let himself crumble. 

Dean loved his boy. Ben that was a mini-me of Dean. 8 years old. Dark hair and a sunny personality. Dean had always loved being a dad. He was good at it. So Castiel believed that losing Ben was worse than the divorce.

Castiel let Dean's tears be absorbed by his shirt. Saying nothing for a long while. Just hold him.

“Are you allowed to speak to him?”

“I don't know. My lawyer haven't told me.”

“I am sorry. It isn't fair to you or him. You are his dad. He needs you. Lisa is being too hard on you both. Selfish, even”

“Castiel, the angel. Can't call anyone a bitch.”

“Maybe you are right about that.”

Before Castiel could help himself he cradle Dean's face with his hands. Searching for signs of Dean's mood.”

“Do you feel ready to go inside again?” Castiel had to fight his eyes for dropping down on Dean's lips.

His instincts was yelling for him to kiss Dean. But he resisted. 

“In a moment.” Dean hugged Cas again. 

“Fuck I didn't know how much I needed to have you by my side again. You are the only one I can be myself with.” 

“I will always be here Dean.”

“I know. Thank you. I hope you feel the same”

“Of course Dean.” With almost everything he could be open about. 

They stood a while, until Dean gather his calm and strength.

“You can always talk to me.”

“you too, Cas. Bobby have told me you seems alone”

“I haven't have time to socialize. I have worked hard at the store.”

“And the cabin?”

“I haven't have the time to start anything there yet”

“Want some help? I have time”

“I would love some help. It is hard to see anything else than how Joshua had it.” Castiel said as he was walking into the house. 

“Are you going to renovate the cabin?” Asked Bobby.

“Yes. I have gotten the store as I like it. So I should make the cabin my own too. I hear Joshua telling me to just do something. But I have no idea what.”

“Where do you sleep?”

“The guest room...”

“It has been your home for over a year…”

“I know”

“Me and Dad can help, uncle Cas!”

“Thank you Emma. But do you not have school?”

“No. I didn't get in my university’s of choice…”

“I am sorry, Emma”

“You can do as I. I go to a online university. It is a bit of a work. But now with Cas free wi-fi I will get a degree from the middle of nowhere.”

“Oh, tell me more.”

“You can talk during dinner. It is ready.” Bobby firmly told them.

Bobby served everyone. It was barbecue chicken and potatoes, corn on the cob, greens and cornbread. And sauce. Lots of sauce.

He pressed Castiel’s shoulder before continuing around the table. Subtle hint that he was grateful for what Cas done for Dean. Being his strong shoulder.

The girls talked about getting their degree online. Cas was planning how to make room for Emma in his store if she wanted.

The men was walking down memory lane. Sharing stories.

“What is Sam doing?”

“He is busy with his practice and family life. He and Susan has a boy and a girl. 5 and 2 years old.”

“Mary and William right?”

“Yes. You know things”

“Of course, I am at gossip central. The townspeople want me to know what happens beyond my store”

“What are they saying about us?”

“They are thrilled to have you back. Some is planning to guide your eyes to their daughters or nieces. Prepare yourself.”

“Me! How about you!”

“Oh, they are trying their best.”

“No, one has catched your eye?”

“No, not yet.” they should have parading their nephews instead.

“Then we will have to have eachothers backs.”

“Good plan, Dean. But it is not bad persons. Just not someone for me”

“Picky?”

“Somewhat. Bobby, have you been on the meet and greets?”

“Fuck no! If I would find someone new. I would want to do it without the hawks staring at me.”

“But you would date if you find the one?!” asked Emma.

“Sure. But don't think that you can play matchmaker, young lady!”

“Oh, you are no fun, Gramps”

“We are grown men we can date if we choose”

“And that means you too lady. You choose whomever you want to date or not.” said Castiel with a twinkle in his eyes.

“Yeah, yeah. Do we get any desert tonight?” Emma asked

“Of course. Apple pie made by yours truly” Dean proudly declared.

“That is a treat indeed.” Castiel smiled. Dean was obsessed about pie. He guarded his apple pie recipe like a dragon. But it was one of the last things he had left from his mother. So Castiel knew how he felt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be posted tomorrow.
> 
> Thank you for your time.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This will be a long chapter to end of the story.
> 
> In the end it will be a sex-scene, that's why the rating has gone up, just incase.
> 
> Hopefully some of you like my brain bug of a story. I didn't plan it, it just happened. 
> 
> Constructive feedback is welcomed. How else can a dyslexic Norse learn?

Saturdays the store was only open for 4 hours between 10 a clock and 2 in the afternoon. When he got home, to his surprise, Dean and Emma was already at the cabin. Taking measurements.

“Uncle Cas!” 

“Hello my dear. Have you decided on a battle plan yet?”

“Master bedroom. You are a grown man you need a bedroom.” 

“I will not argue with you. What is your vision?”

“Blue walls, shiplap with stained wood, behind the bed.”

“Sounds beautiful. I will need a new bed.” The thought of sleeping in his uncles bed was not to his liking. 

“Yes, you do!” Dean looked with distain at the bed. 

“I will go to the city later then. What else do you need?”

Emma painted up her vision of his bedroom. Blue, stained wood, copper features. And white trimmings. She did good. 

“I will love it. You have an eye for this.”

Emma's smile was worth every penny he would have to pay for this project. 

Even more when Dean's happy and proud face met his. He would do anything to make Dean happy.

They stayed for dinner. 

For once Castiel cooked. He made a pasta dish that they ate on the back porch. Emma wrapped a blanket around her. 

The cabin felt like a home again.

When Castiel had made some coffee to drink out on the porch Emma took her drawing pad. She wanted to think about the whole cabin. Castiel let her go to her own device.

“Thank you for letting her do this.”

“I feel like I am getting the better deal. She is a natural.”

“Yeah. She is.” 

“And I really needed new eyes. I just see Joshua in here.”

“I understand. I just see the past as well.”

“And we need to see the future.”

“Yeah, we do”

“But if you need to talk about the past I am here.”

“Why the hell didn't we talk more these past years?”

Dean didn't know but Lisa had been a big wedge. She had not been comfortable with Castiel. He had wondered if she knew what he felt for Dean. 

“We lived to far apart. Life came between.” Castiel took a sip too hid behind the coffee mug.

“We were stupid. Won't let us be that any more.”

“Sounds good to me. I will live here. So you can always find me.”

“I didn't notice when I lived with Lisa how alone I was. First when we started the divorce, and I only had Sam, Bobby and Emma in my corner. Non of our friends in town was my friend. They choose her. We lived on that street for 8 years. No one was on my side. That's why it was easy to leave the house to her. I didn't want to live there anymore. And I didn't wanted to tear Ben from his home and school.”

“You are a noble man, Dean.”

“Don't feel like one”

“You are. You have been deceived and from I can tell you have acted more noble than you had to. At least for the children”

Dean came and laid his head on Castiel's shoulder. Castiel allowed his arm to lay over Dean's shoulder.

“I got a call from Ben today.”

“Oh, how is he?”

“Sad. Angry on me and especially angry at Lisa. He misses Emma and me. He spoke to Emma for an hour. I am glad that they have each other. But Lisa haven't decided if I will be able to see him.”

Cas found his hand in Dean's hair. Petting him.

“I hope she will. Or Ben will always resent her for it. Family don't end with blood, as Bobby always say”

“The family motto.”

Emma came and sat on the other side of Castiel so he had to wrap his other arm around her. He didn't mind. This felt easy, natural and how a family should feel. Emma continue to work. Dean sat up in a more comfortable position. But he didn't move away. So they continued to have bodycontact.

Time passed as they watched the lake. 

“Can we sleep over, uncle Cas?”

Castiel looked at Dean, whom smiled at his daughter.

“It would be my pleasure, to have you here.”

“Great! I will call and tell Gramps.”

She bounces of the bench.

“Sometimes I forget that she is almost a grown woman” Dean said when she got into the cabin.

“The life that she have known all her life have changed. I am just glad that she have found constructive ways to deal with it. I would not blame her if she had not.”

“You speak as you have experience”

“When mom and dad died in. I was a mess. I was young, living alone in a big city I did many things I am not proud of.” Mainly sleeping around and party way to much. He was lucky he didn't catch anything bad. He had been able to treat the thing he did catched. He could easily have gotten something worse.

“It was Joshua whom got me to go home to him over the summer. He made me face my grief and get better. He saved me”

“Why didn't you contact me?”

“I didn't wanted you to see me like that. And I was ashamed to let Emma see the mess I was. I knew that you would try to help me. But I was afraid and selfish in my grief.”

“You have always been private. You always tried to fix things by you own before you asked or accepted any help. I shouldn't be surprised.”

“If I promise to try to ask for help when I feel bad in the future. Would that be of comfort to you”

“Somewhat.”

“I will do better, Dean”

“Good.”

“Will you come in now. I am freezing.” Emma called from the door.

“Yes. We will”

“I want to have the guest room!” Emma declared.

“Then I will change the linings. Dean, you can take the master bedroom.” 

“The bed is huge! You are grown men you can share”

Castiel tried to tell if Emma seemed to have an hidden agenda. Did she know? But she seemed just to be practical.

“I am game if you are comfortable, Cas.”

“Of course”

“Great. Where is the linens?” Emma was standing in the door ready to fetch them. 

Castiel sent Emma to get them out of the closet, while he stripped the bed.

_ What the hell had he gotten himself in?! Great idea to sleep in the same bed as the one you are trying to get over! _

His inner voice was screaming at him. Maybe he had a masochistic side to himself? He had not believed it because he liked to be the one in control in bed. But how he had these last past days done everything to bring himself in harm's way. He felt like he was taking advantage of Dean's state of mind. Getting the picture of how it it could be if the where a family. And that was just torture! That platonic would they been the best couple. But platonic was not the word to use explain his feelings. And he was ashamed of them. 

He must do something about that, later. Now he had make the bed ready for his guest. 

Dean went to look at what needed to do in the master bedroom.

“Is everything in your liking?”

“Yeah, uncle Cas” she hugged him.

He had known her all her life, but she had never been this big of a hugger. At least to him. She had always liked him but she had always had an independent feel about her.

“Are you alright, Emma”

She made some kind of sound. Not a yes and not a no. He pet her hair.

“It is okay if you are not. This must been a difficult time for you and your family.”

She started to cry.

Castiel found himself comfort another Winchester. Her hair was like silk under his hands.

“I am so angry with her! She was my mom and she hasn't even called me! And Ben…”

“I know. It isn't fair.”

“And dad… and I am useless.”

He took her face in his hands. Drying her tears.

“You are not useless. You are trying to keep your father's spirits up so he have the power to move. Without you, he would had been broken by sorrow. You do not have to do anything. He just need your love. But you two can morn together or use me as a place to cry on.”

He hugged her again.

Over her shoulder he saw Dean by the door. A picture of a father's anguish. Castiel looked at Dean and begged with his eyes that he would join them.

He did.

Dean took his place between them. Not letting Cas move away. 

“My sweet child. I love you, you know that, right?”

“I know, me too, dad”

“We will get through this. I promise.”

“Yeah we will. We have Cas with us.”

“You will always have me, and each other”

“And Gramps. My grumpy Gramps”

Castiel let them dictated how long they needed to hug. He would have stand there the whole night if they needed it.

Emma yawned. 

“Tired?”

“Somewhat.”

“We can go to sleep and talk more tomorrow.”

“Goodnight. If you need us you know where we are.”

“Goodnight dad, uncle Cas”

“Goodnight my dear”

They went to bed in silence. They laid in bed when Dean broke the silence.

“Thank you for being here for us. We do need you, Cas.”

Not knowing what to say. Castiel nodded.

“I have tried to make Emma talk. But she is like me…”

“Doesn't want to be a burden to you. Because you too believe that the other one has it worse?”

“Ouch too much truth”

“It isn't a competition. You have both been betrayed and lost the family you know.”

“Yeah. When did you became a all-knowing sage?”

“I must have learned of Joshua during the years. I just do what he did when I needed comfort.”

“You are doing great. I am glad that you can help us. My dad and Bobby have not been good role models how to handle emotions.”

“Toxic masculinity. I believe they call it.”

“What you know.”

“I read” and have been too pride, lectures and been on the internet.

“Feelings not bad.” Dean said in a bad imitation of a caveman.

“And you better known it!” Cas laughed.

“Did we ever did a sleepover as children?”

“No we did go camping. Because someone was afraid that only girls did sleepovers.” Dean had always been a “manly man” even as a child.

“Oh yeah. Must have been dad's fault.”

“Likely” John Winchester was an old military man. Castiel had only meet him twice. And he didn't like John. He was a hard man. Inner walls, high as the sky. In a way he was glad that Bobby had raised Dean and Sam. They were happier and better men than what John had been able to teach them to be.

He remembered last time he saw John. He was a teen harbinger his secret flame for Dean. In a way Cas feared that John had noticed it. Because he had been an ass-hat to Castiel that week. It had been so bad that Joshua had taken John out back from the store. What ever happened no-one in the town knew. But the next day John left the town. Castiel didn't know if he ever came back.

Castiel would not be sad if he never saw him again.

“Goodnight Cas.”

“Goodnight Dean.”

 

Dean had fall asleep leaving Castiel to try to sleep. He had turned his back to Dean. He didn't want to be that creep who stare at people when they sleep.

But Dean's every movement put Castiel on edge. 

It was years sense Castiel had slept in the same bed as anyone else. His one night stands hadn't involved sleeping side by side.

He promised himself. This would be the last of this. As soon as he felt Dean wasn't drowning in grief. He would tell him and the people of Eden. He is gay, whether they liked it or not. 

And he would tell Dean the truth. That he harbor feelings for him, but he didn't expected anything of him. But he needed hear Dean reject him so he could move on. This unhealthy way of bottle everything up didn't help him at all. 

The worst that would happen is that he would be run out of town. But he would have means to move and start again. But this ends now.

He wouldn't spend the next ten years wishing for something impossible.

If Dean wanted to still be his friend he would love it. He would mourn if he don't. He would expect that he don't. But he would be able to move forward.

 

Next day Cas awoke to seeing Dean getting out of bed.

“Hello Dean.”

“Good morning, Sunshine. Slept well?”

“Took time to fall asleep. But I slept fine in the end. You?”

“Like a baby”

“I am glad”

“Can you make some coffee?”

“I will try to make some breakfast. Should I make some to Emma too?”

“If she wakes. You never know with her if she is a sleepyhead or an early bird.”

“Alright.” 

Dean took to the master bathroom. Castiel took to the other. Making himself ready before going to the kitchen. The coffee was steep number one. When Dean entered the room Castiel was raiding the fridge. 

“Fried eggs and bacon, an omelet or cereals?”

Dean looked over Castiel's shoulder. Fried eggs, bacon and mushrooms?”

Castiel took out the ingredients. The men worked in tandem to make the breakfast. Halfway through Emma came into the kitchen.

“Morning, dear”

“Good morning, Emma.”

“Morning, Dad, uncle Cas.”

“How did you sleep?”

"Good, thanks, uncle Cas”

“I'm glad. Do you want some eggs, bacon and mushrooms?”

“Do you have some cereals?”

Castiel took out the box.

“Then I will have both. A small portion fried and cereals.”

“As you wish”

Dean smiled at Castiel. Castiel knew that Dean knew Castiel's love of the movie the Princess Bride.

This was what Castiel wanted. Family life. Someone to have inside jokes with. Children to show affection to, daily life. Routines. 

Even if the Winchesters would not become his family. He felt he knew enough to when he was ready to try again. He would knew what to look for. What he could write in a dating app. _“Single business owner looking for a man to share his life with in a beautiful cabin. Must be looking to want to build a family life with me. Personality and compatibility more important than looks.”_ Not too bad. He would have to write that down.

He served breakfast.

“Please, dig in”

Castiel watches Dean and Emma's how they interacted at breakfast. It was the ease and flow that fascinated him. How the years had given them a routine and almost a script.

“Are we amusing uncle Cas.”

“Somewhat. I had not known how much I had missed having company. It feels… soothing.” 

“How long ago before we invited you to dinner? When did you last share a meal?”

“Do you count the town's feasts?”

“No, at this moment we do not count it”

“Christmas when you invited me.”

“And before that?”

“I don't know. I have eaten at Bobby's and Ellen have dragged me to her house once. I have been busy.”

“You keep saying that. Are you sure that you are not hiding?” Asked Dean.

“I may be. But I have been in mourning. I have needed to be alone.”

“And now?”

“Not as much. I will never be the bell of the ball. I like my solitude to much. But I will be more open.”

“That is good.”

 

Time passed.

Dean and Lisa's divorce was final.

Possessions divided. Lisa got Ben. Blood won over heart. Dean spend the night after at Castiel's drinking, crying and acting out all his heart ache. When he passed out, Castiel got him to bed. Then proofing the master bedroom so if Dean got sick he would have a bucket and a big glass of water.

Castiel would have done everything to take away some of Dean's pain but he could only be his friend.

He had not told Dean and the town yet. Next month, then Dean wouldn't be in such need of a friend. It wouldn't break him. Then he could break the closet. 

Castiel took the guest bedroom. He was responsible, not taking advantage of his friend in his weakened state. Not sleeping in the same bed just to have the feeling of what he was missing. Have a taste of his dream. He would not be a creep. He was stronger than that. For even if he would indulge it would be fake. Because Dean didn't feel the same and consent to it.

So the day he confessed he could hold his head up high. Feeling that he had done everything in his power to be sure that Dean wouldn't feel violated. That he could trust Castiel even if Castiel had unwanted feelings. 

 

Breakfast was muted. Dean slept until noon. So Castiel ate alone. But he started lunch just before Dean awake. Greasy and lots of carbs. Some burgers. Dean's favourite hangover food.

“Cas, I could kiss you!”

“Food, is truly the way to your heart”

“What can I say. I am a simple guy. Beer, burgers and pie and I am yours.”

Dean ate like he was starving. He didn't always do that. But it was a sight to see when he did. Like an freakshow.

“Is it okay if I hang here today?”

“Of course Dean.” It was good that it was Sunday. So Castiel was free. 

“Thanks. I always feel bad to let Emma see my like this. So I try not to”

“I understand. I have Netflix or you can sit on the porch. My place is your place.” 

“Can we have a Netflix day today?”

“As you wish, Dean” 

Deans smirk should be illegal. 

_ Please don't say Netflix and chill, like it's a joke. _

As Dean open his mouth for saying something his phone rang.

His whole face lighted.

“Hey, buddy! What are you doing?... Ben… You know that I would love to have you here. But the court has decided that your home is with mom… I miss you too, Ben. I will try too hear with Lisa if you can come and see us during a school holiday. Emma and I miss you. But we'll do the best of the situation… I know… I will always be your dad. Remember. Family don't end with blood. But try to get to know your father. Maybe he isn't a bad guy. Maybe you can be friends… You never know if you don't try… How is school?” Dean spoke with Ben with a stone face. The moment they hanged up. He broke.

Castiel open his arms. Dean melded into his body. 

“I want my boy, Cas.”

“I know. But if you play nice with Lisa you might get to be in his life.”

“I hope so.”

“She can't resist Ben to long.”

Castiel did hope it was true. 

They did spend the day on Castiel's sofa watching movies. Dean slept through some of them. After dinner he was well enough to drive home.

Castiel's bed smelled of Dean and drunkenness. He had not the energy to change the linings.

As his hands caressed down his body he turned out his own voice telling him to not do it. He always had to do that. His fantasy of the faceless man who always turned into Dean. A Dean panting under him. Excepting Castiel into him. 

Soon Castiel came. Leaving a mess on his stomach that he would clean up later. First he layed, basking in the feeling of relaxation.

 

Time passed again.

Claire and Emma spend all days in his store. He really had a library. Emma had found courses in interior design. 

Her take on his bedroom was a success. They had moved on to the kitchen. Giving him a warm, manly feel in the cabin.

She would do great.

Emma and Dean was adapting to their new life great. Emma had her studies and Claire. Dean worked with Bobby at the scrapyard and garage. And he was feeling better, as far as Castiel could tell.

It was time to come clean. He dreaded it. 

How could he not be ready when he had 25 years to prepare?

When the bus stop outside his store he looked out the window to see if he was getting some package or customers. This day he saw a well-known face stepping out of the bus. 

He was out the door and before the boy had moved away from the bus.

“Ben!”

“Uncle Cas”

“Come! I will take you to Emma” Castiel took Ben's hand.“Did you run away?”

Ben nodded. “Just so you know. I have to contact Dean, the police and your mother. Or your dad can get in trouble.”

“But he didn't do anything.”

“I know.”

“I am sorry, but I had to see them.”

“I understand but it might not have been the best of plans. Emma!” 

“Ben!” Her chair fall as she rushed to hug her little brother. 

Castiel called Dean.

“Cas?”

“Come to my store Dean. Your son has just gotten of the bus. He is unharmed and Emma is lecturing and hugging him.”

“Ben. What is he doing here?”

“Run away from home. So I am sorry but I have to call Jody and tell the police that he is here if there is a missing persons report on him.”

“Yeah, yeah. Bobby we are going to Cas now. We are on our way now.” Dean hanged up.

Castiel called Jody who promised to check the police system and contact Lisa. Cancel any Amber alert that might have been triggered. 

Castiel told which bus Ben used. Just for extra alibi for Dean.

Then he went into his store. Emma was: crying, screaming, hugging and checking in Ben in a sort of circle. Ben looked overwhelmed.

Castiel pushed in the siblings in his office for some privacy. 

“I am out here if you need me. Your dad and Bobby is on their way. Would be here any moment.

The dark rumble outside was the telltale sign that Baby, Dean's vintage Black Impala had arrived.

Dean rushed into the store.

Castiel stepped aside and let Dean see his son.

Dean rushed and hugged Ben.

“You will never do this again! What if anything happened to you!” 

“But dad”

“No buts. Your mother must be beside herself. Even if I am really angry at her if you disappears and she doesn't call me.”

Castiel's phone called so he went out of the store to take it.

“Castiel”

“Hi Mr Milton. This is Officer Jody Miller. I have contacted Lisa. She is really happy that Ben is safe and sound. So she will drive up to get him.”

“Thank you. Dean and Bobby will take him home I believe. They are at my store at the moment.”

“I will come over now. I need a statement from Ben.”

“Of course I will keep them here.”

“Thank you, Castiel.”

He went in. They were hugging each other. He let them have their moment. 

They hadn't stopped hugging when Jody came into the store. Castiel nodded to her and she walked up to the family.

“Mr Singer, Dean, Emma and young Ben. Ben you have been a troubled maker I have heard. I had to call of a big police search at your home state. You have made many people worried.”

Ben was crying before Jody came over. Seeing a police officer awoken the ugly cry. By the time she had finished he was sobbing. 

Castiel was feeling bad for the boy. Ben just had wanted to see his family. He didn't think about the consequences. 

He got a customer so he let the Winchesters handle the crisis by themself. He had work to do.

An half an hour later they all came out of his backroom and lager room.

“Thank you, Mr Milton. For calling us and taking care of Ben.”

“Of course. He is my favourite nephew. I would do everything to keep him safe.” He smiled at Ben. 

Dean hugged Castiel.

“Thank you. You are coming to dinner tonight”

“Ok. Thank you.”

Ben and Emma hugged him and left with Dean and Bobby stayed in the store to buy some groceries.

As he paid. “We are forever grateful that you are here, son. You know that you are one of mine now. You have been for a while.”

Castiel could not speak. He nodded, feeling misty eyes. He had been officially adopted by Bobby Singer. 

The grumpy old man pressed his shoulder before he left the store.

Leaving Castiel too stunned to move.

Bobby, if he had taken anyone under his wings, he would never let you go. You were his child. Bobby would never abandoned you. Come what may.

Whole of Eden could turn on Castiel but Bobby would stand by his side. 

“Are you okay, Cas?” asked Claire.

He nodded.

“Do you need a break? I can watch the store for you.”

“Thank you.” He went out the back letting the forest surround him. Feeling the calm wash over him. He needed this, he needed to ground himself. 

When he felt more like himself he thanked Claire. Paying her with some chocolates.

“Anytime, Cas.”

 

Dinner at Bobby's was in better spirits than earlier at his store. But the fear and worry had fad away and the family was basking in the happiness to be together again. Around ten o'clock Ben was out like a candle. Dean carried his son to bed. 

An hour later when Castiel just was going to go home a blue SUV drow up the driveway. Lisa and a man. Castiel guessed that he was James.

To say that Lisa was angry was an understatement. Dean was backing up when she was walking up to them. Ready for war.

Castiel didn't know what came over him.

Suddenly he stood before Lisa looking her in her eyes.

“You will walk with me. You are in no state to see Ben right now. You would only scare him.” 

He took her under her arm and started to walk to the lake. 

Lisa was hissing, hitting his arm and fuming. Castiel let her be. He just walked. When they were at the lake he stopped and turned and faced her.

“You may curse and scream, but you will listen to me! This would not ever had happened if you had swallowed your pride and talked to Ben. Asking him what he wanted. Maybe plan with him to see his dad and sister. They may not be his blood but they are by heart. They are the only family he have known. At the moment you are not the mom he knows. You may believe that you are hurting Dean, but not only him. You are hurting your children. Emma is heartbroken, you are her only mom. She have never had any other and you abandoned her! For this I will never forgive you for. And if you continue like this neither will Emma or Ben. It is your choice.” Castiel started her down waiting on her response.

“Who the hell are you to say anything about this!”

“The children has chosen me to be their uncle. So they mean the world to me. I will do anything to keep them safe and happy. And at the moment you are the biggest threat to their happiness. You don't mean to be, but you are.” 

“He will not love you even if you act like this.” She did know.

“I love the Winchesters, I have always done and I will always love them.”

“That is not what I mean. Don't deny it you love Dean.”

“I might but that doesn't have anything to do with this. You might try to lay the blame on any other person. But you need to own your own responsibility. I will let you see Ben if you promise not to wake him. He needs to sleep. Then you and James will go to sleep. You two can sleep at Bobby's or in my cabin. Your choice. But tomorrow you and Dean are going to talk civilised and lay down a plan how to move forward. So Ben don't get a stupid idea like this again. Next time it may not go as well. Agreed?”

Lisa turned around and screamed over the lake. She just keep screaming for an minute. But then it was like the fight ran out of her. 

“I agree. May I see my son now?”

“You may.”

They started to walk back. 

“I believe it would be best if we sleep at your cabin.”

“I can hear if Bobby will let me sleep on the sofa. You need your space.”

“Why do you care so much about us?”

“I am the last Milton. I will never have any other family. Your children has chosen me to be their uncle. So I will try to be the best uncle they can have.”

“Am I right in that you love Dean? ”

She was starring in his face. 

Lisa was not the one he wanted to tell first.

“ Of course I love him. He is my best friend.”

“That was not my question.”

“... I do. He doesn't, not like that. And that is fine. I only want them to be happy. All of them. And if you and Dean can compromise and work together the children would be happy. If the children didn't love you I would curse you up and down.”

They were coming nearer. 

“Will you behave?”

“Yes. I promise.”

“Good.”

“Bobby can I sleep on your sofa? Lisa and James are welcome to borrow my cabin.”

“Of course, son”

“Lisa, James would you like to see the runaway?” Dean showed them the way.

Bobby took Castiel out to the porch and offered a beer. Castiel took it.

“I am truly impressed son. You have balls of steel and not afraid to use them. What did you say to her? We all heard her scream.”

“That was her frustrated yell because I was right. It worked because I am an outsider.”

“No, son you are family.”

“I know, Bobby. But I haven't been in the battle. My personal feelings aren't hurt.”

The others all came down. 

Castiel gave Lisa the key. 

“Do you remember were my or Joshua's old cabin is?”

“Yes, I remember.”

“Good. Clean linens is in the closet in the hallway. If you wish to change. The master bedroom is designed by Emma.”

“Thank you, Castiel” James shaked Castiel's hand before they left. The little Castiel had seen of the man he seemed nice. But he was no Dean. Well everyone has their own taste.

Lisa and James drives away. 

“Cas, you are a fucking hero!” Dean hugged Castiel, normal man hug with the weird pat on the back. Dean's frail masculinity showing its ugly head again.

“I am just glad that I could smooth things down. Her worried anger would only make things more complicated.”

Castiel sat down beside Bobby again. Emma came out and sat down in Castiel's lap. Wrapping her arms around him.

“Thank you. You got mom to remember me.”

“She was being an idjiit. So I had to talk some sense into her.”

“I love you, uncle Cas.” what was this day? Castiel felt overwhelmed from all this love.

“I love you too, little bee. Am I beating uncle Sam, now?”

She laughed.

“You might.”

“Poor Sammy.” Dean smiled a bit more freely. 

Emma was not easy to have sitting on his knees she was tall and healthy. But if she wanted to be near he would let her.

But the day came back with vendict. He was exhausted. He couldn't stop his yawn that echoed by Emma, and Bobby.

“Alright sleepyheads bedtime. Cas follow me” Dean fixed a spare toothbrush in one of the bathrooms. Side by side they brushed their teeth. Dean let Castiel use the bathroom while he checked on Ben. When they were done Dean took Castiel to his bedroom. “I will return” Dean said before Castiel could even object.

So he waited.

Dean started to undress when he came into the room. 

“Undress Cas. I will not have your smelly socks in bed”

He did as he was told. 

Dean had a queen-size bed it was the only real furniture in the room. It seemed to be brand new.

“New bed?” Castiel asked as he dropped his shirt.

“Yeah. The old one was murder on my back. She is a memory foam mattress, she remembers me”

Castiel smiled. 

“So this was why you made me buy one?”

“She is, get in so you can feel for you self why I am sold.”

The mattress was solid, almost hard before it started to mould around his body.

“It is a good bed. Like mine”

“If we are going to continue sleep in eachothers beds then at least I need to be comfortable”

Castiel's heart leaped. What did Dean mean about that? He had been under the impression that his arrangement was made of good hosting and need for comfort.

“Are you trying to have all the sleepovers you could not have as a child?”

“Maybe”

“Alright then. Goodnight Dean.”

Dean took Castiels hand”

“Goodnight Cas”

He pressed the hand and turned around and fell asleep.

Castiel's heart was pounding. He would need to tell Dean soon. Before Dean made something that Castiel's instincts to try to give Dean a kiss won. Dean didn't understand what mixed signals he was giving Castiel. Sometimes Castiel could almost believe that Dean was flirting with him, and that misunderstanding he needed to nip in the butt.

After Lisa, James and Ben went home then he had to do it.

 

Castiel had gone to the store before Lisa and James returned to Bobbys. He didn't mind, he didn't have to meddle with the plans when Ben get to see his family. He had gone well and beyond his role as a friend and adopted uncle. Now they had to figure out this alone. 

Claire was disappointed not to see Emma at her table, but she did understand why she took a break.

Castiel gave her a chocolate muffin and a drink of her choice. To keep her motivated. Something he liked to do once in awhile. He wanted to aid her in her studies. 

Then he worked. He was always busy in the store. Easy to work away his worries and problems. 

By two in the afternoon Dean came over with Emma and his cabin key.

“Thank you, but you didn't need to come here I could had dropped by after work.”

“I was dropping by anyway. Emma need something sweet.” 

“How did it go?”

“at least a week in the summer and a couple of days over Christmas. It's better than nothing. But I followed Sam's advice and signed at contact. So Lisa can't change her mind.”

“Good. I am happy for you all.”

“It wouldn't happen without you. You were the kick in the butt Lisa needed to talk… Are you free this weekend. We can hit the road and go to the city.”

This was it. He needed to come clean.

“I would love to. But I need to talk to you first.”

“Are you alright, Cas?”

“Yeah. But… Claire, Emma can you watch the store for a moment?”

“Alright.”

“Will you follow me Dean?”

“Cas you are scaring me”

“It is nothing dangerous.”

He walked out the back. His heart was trying to strangle him. He really didn't want to do this.

“Cas?”

“I want to be honest with you Dean. You deserve that. Just remember that I don't want anything from you. I just want you to be happy and I need to show everyone who I am.”

“Cas…”

“I do not know if you have guessed that I am gay”

“No. Who knew?”

I have told Joshua. Claire and Lisa cornered me. So they know.”

“Lisa? Liss knew before me.”

“She asked me yesterday. I didn't want to tell her. But she didn't let me dodge the question.”

“Alright. So you are gay, that's fine. Why are you still looking as I am going to hit you?”

“...I don't want you to be uncomfortable. I… “ he took a big breath. “I love you, Dean. You were my first love but I do not expect you to feel the same. If you want to keep your distance, I understand.”

He took a step back. Giving Dean more space. Keeping his mouth shut if Dean wanted to say anything.

“How long have you been in love with me?”

“I don't know. I was a teen when I fell, so almost my whole adult life.”

“And why didn't you tell me?”

“I don't know. I was 22 when I told Joshua. You have been taken almost all of the time and I didn't wanted to invade your relationships. I have really tried to stop. Sometimes when I have tried to tell you but I didn't wanted to lay this on you now during your divorce. You had to much to handle already.”

“I don't know what to say. I am really angry that you have not trusted me. I thought that you are my best friend!”

“You are my best friend.”

“But you didn't trust me! I need to think. Bye Cas!”

Seeing Dean's back walking away from him was heartbreaking. 

“Bye Dean” he whispered. Letting himself stand still looking at Dean as he walked out of his life. He signed and walked back to his store. 

“Was there any problems?”

“No Cas.”

“Where is dad?”

“He has gone home, I believe.”

“Fuck, did you tell him?” Claire almost shouted. 

He nodded.

“Tell him what, uncle Cas?”

He stroked a lock from her face. He was terribly sad.

“I just told your dad that I am gay.” he didn't care if any one else heard. Let the gossip spread.

“Oh.” Emma hugged him. “I am glad you told me uncle Cas.”

“Sorry that it took so long”

“It's alright uncle Cas. You did tell me.”

Over her shoulder Cas made a subtle sign to Claire to don't tell Emma about his crush on her father. She rolled her eyes at him.

“Are you okay, uncle Cas?”

“Yes, I will be. It was just as draining as I thought. But at the same time easier than I thought. I am not sure why I had to keep it a secret so long. So can I get back to work?” 

“No, you need hug. Don't you agree Claire?”

“Yeah he needs love. He is a sad case.” 

“Thank you, dear.”

“Claire!”

“She isn't wrong, Emma and I like her honesty.”

“Shut up old man”

He shoot out his arm and pulled her into the hug.

“Yes, little wasp”

“Wasp!”

“Emma is little bee. So you can be wasp. Can I please go back to work? You can continue hugging if you like”

He pulled away. The girls stopped their hug. He let the routine of work calm him down. 

When he kicked out the girls he couldn't go home. He didn't want to be alone. So he went to the road house. Ellen who own it was a hard but warm woman. They worked regularly together. So he believed that they had grown a sort of mutual relationship.

He was a bit early. So it was quite calm when he entered. 

“Young Milton!”

“Hello Ellen. I believe it is time I try that cheeseburger you have bragged about.”

“That it is! I was wondering if my place wasn't good enough for the city boy.”

“No, I haven't taken the time to do anything except following Joshua's orders. But now is the time.”

“And helping the Winchesters.”

“I am the honorary uncle I will do anything I can to help them”

“You are a good boy.”

“I try.”

“Take a seat. What would you like to drink?”

“Something sugary”

“I will surprise you” 

He took a table with overview of the front door.

“Castiel Milton!” Betty Lots was the matchmaker of Eden and leader of the book club. “I am so happy to see you. Are you free on Saturday. I am hosting a meet and greet for lonely citizens.”

He took a breath.

“Thank you. But I believe that it is not for my taste. I would like to meet a nice man to share my life.”

He saw how she was thinking hard.

“Oh, you are a happy gay man! Why didn't you say that earlier! I will see what I do to a other meeting.”

“You don't have to…”

“Nonsense!” She left, leaving Castiel trying to calm his breathing. But Ellen was there with his drink.

“You are coming out to us?”

“Yes, it is time. I believe.”

“Good for you.”

“You knew?”

“Yes, of course. When the other boys start to look at girls you only had eyes for boys and especially one.”

“I hope that he will not be in any troubles for my affection.”

“Not if anyone wants to mess with his clan. I won't let anyone mess with you too. You know that right?”

“No… Now I do”

Ellen stroked his cheek.

“You have to much of Joshua in you. To afraid to bother anyone so you believe you have to live alone. I hope that you, opening up will let us in your life. That you will see how many that wants to pour all their love on you.”

He laid his hand on hers”

“Thank you.” How could you speak in a situation like that.

“I will bring you your burger.” 

Castiel felt dizzy from the waves of relief that was washing over him. He wouldn't be driven away from his only home. Ellen wouldn't allow it.

Was this enough people to let rumours spread? That within days they would know?

He was glad that he could eat his burger in silence. Solitude was what he craved but not being alone. Alone his thoughts could turn dark and hopeless. Here he could silence them. Here Ellen's small smile remembered him that even if Dean would distance himself from Castiel, he would not be abounded.

Ellen put a slice of pie and coffee before him. 

Her way to show love.

“Is Jo alright?” Johanna was Ellen's daughter and as soon she turned 18 last year she had moved to a city to go to the university.

“Yeah. She is a smart girl and though enough to handle herself.”

“She have learned that from the best” he smiled at Ellen.

“Shut up.” She left to help her bartender who called for her.

The pie, a pecan, was delicious. He wasn't as in love with pie as Dean but it was a tasty treat.

Then Bobby stepped into the Road House.

“Hey, Bobby! Where is Dean and Emma?” asked Ellen. 

“Those idjiits, suddenly decided to go and visit Sam and his family.”

Castiel felt like Bobby had punched him. 

Dean had run. He didn't want to be near Castiel. Castiel put down the spoon. The lovely pie had become a lump in his throat.

“Oh.” Ellen looked sadly at Castiel and Bobby's gaze followed. Bobby ordered a steak dinner , a beer and joined Castiel at his table.

“Would you tell me why you look like it is your fault that they left?”

“I told Dean that I… am gay and that my feelings aren't as platonic that he would like. He is really angry at me for keeping this from him.”

“Finally you told him! I was starting to believe that it would never happen.”

“So you knew as well?”

“Boy, you have always looked at Dean as if he had sunshine coming out of his ass.”

“I thought that no-one knew... ”

“We who did see are the ones that loves you. We just see because we are looking out for you.”

Dean didn't see. 

Castiel wanted to run home and lay in his bed and mourn. Mourn for his lost friendship.

“You will keep me company while I eat.”

Castiel nodded. 

“It isn't your fault that Dean left, you need to know that.”

“It is hard to think otherwise. I told him something he didn't want to hear and he left town, the same day. Maybe even the same hour.” 

“And that's because he wants to think. You know how he is. He needs Sam to talk with. To figure things out”

“Because I shattered his trust in me”

“I don't think it's that bad. He will be back. When he is ready.”

“Maybe I should have waited… this is the wrong time. He is not in a good place. But I wanted him to know. I didn't wanted to be in risk of taking advantage of his friendship.”

“Idjiit, you have never taken advantage of Dean. You always have seen to his happiness. Even as children you would give him the biggest piece and letting him have his way. Sometimes I wanted to scream at you, tell you to do for once something you wanted. John used to call Dean his little soldier, but Dean never had anything on you. You just followed orders and just interilized everything. Believing that everything that happened was your fault. Even if Sam and Dean fought in some way you always believed it was your doing. So I will not let you do it this time.”

“Bobby…”

“No boy of mine will take the world on their shoulders, not alone.”

“Thank you.”

“I should have adopted you when your parents died. So I could have kicked you in the right way. But you and Joshua needed each other.”

“Bobby…”

He took the older man's hand. “I am grateful that I have you.” he let go again.

“Yeah, I will not think about what you would do without me.”

“Nothing good.”

“Do you want me to spend the night at your place?”

“I will be alright. I will promise to behave.”

“Call me if you need me.”

“I will go to bed early. I have the store tomorrow.”

 

Weeks passed.

Dean didn't return or call anyone else than Bobby.

Castiel tried to accept that he had lost his friend. But it was a festering wound. A wound that told him that he was to blame. Bobby was keep telling him that Dean would return. But even if he did, nothing would be the same. Castiel had destroyed their friendship. But it was better, he tried to tell himself. Now he could move on, someday. Dean was without doubt not interested. But he wasn't ready. He tried to let go. But his heart was stuck. 

As far as he knew the town was updated about him being gay. Nothing had not really changed. Except one thing.

There was a young boy stalking in the store. 

He had been there many times. And he had tried to talk to Castiel but he always backed away.

Castiel hoped that the boy was trying to talk to a other gay and not had a crush. For that would be awkward.

He had planned to wait until the boy had found his courage but when by closing time, they were alone in the store, he had to know.

“May I help you?”

“Mr Milton! … yes or maybe. I would like to ask you about a favour.”

“I am listening, son”

“Yeah… here's the thing. I am bisexual with a boyfriend. I meet him online. And I want to tell my parents. Mom will be okay, I think. But dad… I don't know… so if I don't feel safe. May I come and stay a your place?”

“Sure. Do you need some backup? I can stay in the car or..”

“I you could stay at the store until I am done. I can call you if it went fine.”

“Sure… sorry I haven't heard your name.”

“Jack Kline, nice to meet you.”

“Likewise. I wish you good luck. And I hope that you don't need me tonight. Maybe we could change phone numbers?”

“Yeah, true!”

The boy was out the store in a heartbeat. 

He hoped he didn't have to see the boy again this evening. An hour later he had done some inventory when Jack knocked on his door.

“Oh dear!” Jack had an black eye and sobbing. “I am so sorry. Are you hurt anywhere else?”

“No…”

“I have to call Jody or Donna. It isn't right, he should not have hit you.”

“Do you really have to?”

“Yes. They need to know so if you get more problems we'll have backup.”

“If you say so…”

Donna came by within minutes. She was the warmest and bubblies person Castiel knew. She was like a tornado of goodness. Leaving hugs and sweets around.

“Oh, you poor thing!”

She took some photos.

“Do you want to press charges?”

“No…”

“I will hold on to this, if you ever change your mind. Do you have a place to stay?”

“I have a guest room that Jack is free to use for as long as he needs.”

“Good, good. Here take my number if you want to talk or wonder about anything”

“Thank you”

Castiel packed a care package before they left for the cabin.

“Do you want to have a shower?”

“Please…” 

Castiel got Jack some sweatpants, a faded t-shirt and fluffy socks to change into after the shower.

Castiel was thankful that Jack had just turned 18 so he didn't have to involve the child protective service. 

He made the bed for Jack and put in some spare clothes. It was friday evening. So Jack would have a couple of days to heal before facing school again.

Castiel picked up the phone.

“Bobby Singer here.”

“Hey Bobby. Do you have some of the boys old teenage clothes left?”

“Some, why”

“Jack Klines dad hit him when he came out. He will live here as long as he likes.”

“Fuck. Tell me if he wants backup to get his stuff. Me and Ellen will be there in a heartbeat.”

“I am greatly appreciate it.”

“I will come by tomorrow after you have closed the store.”

“Thank you.”

Castiel started to make some dinner. He had some burgers and fries in the freezer. And a pie. This was a night for comfort food.

When Jack was clean he joined without saying much. They ate in silence.

Castiel let Jack lead, he didn't know the boy enough to know how he wanted to be treated.

“Mom just walked out.”

“I am sorry”

“I don't know if it was so she didn't had to see Dad punch me or if she didn't wanted to see me. That hurt more than the punch.”

“I am really, really sorry. I know you hoped for something better. I asked Bobby if he had some spare clothes after the Winchester boys. He said if you wanted to get your things, he, Ellen and I would follow you and keep you safe. If you liked. Bobby is everyone's dad, if you need one and Ellen want to mother everyone. I have found myself adopted by them now. So you will become theirs. That's how they work.”

“And you?”

“If you like to be as a son to me I would gladly be. But if you are in a bigger need of a friend I will be that.”

Jack nodded. 

“How did your parents take it?”

“They never knew. They died before I told them. I told my uncle Joshua at 22. But he already knew. He was just waiting for me to tell him. I just, as you know, came out to Eden.”

“Did anyone react badly?”

“My best friend left town and hasn't talked to me sense.” 

“Oh, I am sorry.”

“I don't believe that it is me being gay he has a problem with. He is angry that I didn't trust him enough to tell him sooner. 25 years or so is along time to keep a secret.”

“But still. To shot you out!”

“I always knew that it was a price that I could be made to pay. But I needed to live with myself and I wasn't happy before.”

“I know. It's terrible. I am a bit scared of what some will say in school.”

“Do you have friends?”

“Yeah.”

“And they know?” Jack nodded. “Keep to them. School will be done soon and Collage is an whole other world.”

“I have applied for some open-minded collage.”

“Good. I will help you get there.”

“Thank you Mr Milton”

“Call me Castiel or Cas. Everyone else does.”

When they had gone to bed. Castiel's instinct was telling him that he wanted to call Dean. Instead he hugged his pillow.

 

By lunchtime a car pulled up to the store. The angry guy storming up to the door, Castiel knew to be Luke Kline and his wife Kelly. 

Oh, this will be fun. The only one in the store was Claire.

“Claire, can you go over to the Road house? I might need backup. Go around the back. Now”

Claire moved around the store swiftly and out of sight.

“You! It's your fault. You fucking gay!”

“Luke!”

“Shut up! It is his fault our son is a damn pillow biter!”

“And how is that? Maybe me being open about who I am was inspiring to your son. That he wanted you to know who he is and who he loves. But I have never talked to Jack before yesterday. When he asked if I could be his safe haven if everything went wrong. I am glad he did so he didn't have to spend the night alone in the forest.”

Castiel didn't know where his calm but cold anger were taking him. But he was staring down Mr Kline. 

He would not bulged. 

“You bastard!”

“Just so you know. If you hit me. I will hit back and I will report you to the police. I am not afraid of you.”

He saw in the corner of his eye, how the police car pulled up.

“I am really disappointed at the two of you. You will lose your son for some silly principle.”

The Klines didn't hear the bell that told that the front door was opening.

“I will fucking kill you sick fuck! You turned our boy gay!”

“Luke stop!”

Luke punched Castiel on the cheek. The hit soften by Jody and Donna that restraint Luke.

“For fucks sake Luke, that is not how it works” Jody Mills spoke.

“I believe you and I are going to have a nice drive to the police station, Luke. This is not acceptable behaviour.”

She turned to Kelly.

“And you, what have you too say?”

“I would like to see my son.”

“Are you going to be nice to him?”

“Yes”

“I will call and hear if he wants to see you” Castiel said looking with disdain on Luke. Not moving before Jody and Donna pulled Luke out of the store.

Only then he called home.

“At Castiel's”

“Hello Jack. Your mother is here at the store. Do you wish to see her?”

“I don't know…”

“Would you be more comfortable is me, Bobby and Ellen went with you to Kelly's house? As we spoke about earlier?”

“...”

“Your father will not be home.”

“Why.”

“ He was being a ass-hat. Jody and Donna is going to take him to the station.”

“We can go”

“I will call… oh Ellen is coming here. Can I call you later with the plans?”

“Sure”

“Bye” Castiel hanged up.

“we will come by your place. Please give your statement to Donna. I am not letting Luke near Jack. I hope you understand that.”

She nodded.

“Castiel Milton!”

“Ellen!”

“Thank god, you are alright. I almost pissed myself when Claire broke down my door” her hug were hard. 

“Did you call Jody and Donna?”

“Yes, I did. I was on my way with the gun. If Claire had not stopped me. Smart sending the girl away.”

Then she turned to Kelly.

“What the hell was you thinking!” 

“Luke...”

“Luke is a abusive asshole. You are better without him. You have a choice: your son or Luke. I will give you a place to stay and find you a job. You can have a life.” 

Kelly started to cry. Ellen swept her into her arms. Ellen the mamma bear, Castiel was greateful, he was still angry at Kelly. 

Donna was taking statements from Kelly when Claire braved to enter the store. 

“Cas!”

“Claire. Thank you. You did great.”

“Fuck you!” She jumped up to hug him. “I was so goddam scared. What if you had died!”

“I am safe, Claire all thanks to you”

“Don't scare me like that again. Did he fucking hit you!” carefully she touched his cheek.

“He did try, little wasp” 

when she released him. He gave her a goodie bag. Full of her favourite things.

“For my hero”

Claire took her things and went home. Speaking in the phone. Castiel was grateful she had someone.

He called Bobby to ask him to go and fetch Jack from the cabin so they could meet at Klines in an hour.

Castiel got some empty boxes from the storeroom. He got the feeling that they were going to move two persons this evening. He would happily do it if it would get them away from Luke.

As he left the store he left his phone behind the counter.

 

Ellen had made some of her customers assist in the move. So it was relatively easy to move. Castiel helped Jack, Ellen and Bobby was with Kelly. It was fascinated how little time it took to move Jack and Kelly. After three hours they all was eating dinner at the roadhouse.

Kelly's things stood in the apartment next door. Jack's were still in Castiel's and Bobbys car. 

They let Jack and Kelly to eat at their own table.

“You will get a nice shiner, Castiel.”

“It will serve its porpoise. I will let Jody and Donna use it as evidence. He needs to pay.”

Bobby rose and pulled out his phone. “Dean?” he went to get some privacy.

Castiel felt the hard stab, he missed Dean. Missed him so bad.

Kelly and Jack was hugging. Castiel was really happy for them. 

Bobby came back.

“Here talk to the idjiit” Bobby shoved the phone to Castiel. 

“Hello?”

“Cas! Cas, I have tried to call you the whole evening! Emma said that Claire said that someone had jumped you! Are you okay?”

“I am fine. A small black eye.” Castiel walked away.

“That's not fine! Who the hell did it.”

“Dean... Jody and Donna has him in the police station. I will press charges. I will be fine.”

“Why the hell didn't you call me?”

“Dean, I have not heard from you for over a month. I was under the impression that you were avoiding me. I do not impose where I… am not wanted.”

“Fuck, Cas that is not what I meant”

“How else should I take it, Dean? I tell you my secrets and you left town.”

“Cas… “

“I know it was a lot I springed on you. So I will give you every bit of  time you need. And I do hope we will be friends once again.

“Cas…”

“Goodbye Dean.”

“Cas!”

He hanged up and let Bobby to have his phone back.

What had he done? He wanted Dean back in his life not out.

It was decided that Jack and Kelly would move into the apartment together. Castiel was happy for them.

“I am just a call away if you need me” was his farewell when Jack's belongings were in the apartment and he was going home. The cabin was empty once again. It only was one night but it was nice to feel needed again.

 

The clock had passed three a clock at night when Castiel awoke by hard bangings and shouting.

Luke Kline was yelling profanity into the house. 

Castiel was reaching for his phone. It wasn't there. 

Fuck.

So on light feet he walked to the landline. 

As he sneaked by the windows every shadow was haunting.

By the landline he didn't remember a single phone number expect 911 so he call them.

They promised to send a police car. The banging and shouting they heard through the phone.

Castiel hanged up and took his refuge in the bathroom. There he locked the door creating a second barrier between him and the angry man. 

He would file a restraining order against Luke. Castiel was pissed. Spending the middle of the night locked in the bathroom was not his kind of fun. But he was glad Jack was safe.

He heard how the glass broke. Luke was in the house. Castiel was angry, and felt violated. Luke didn't belong here. He heard how Luke overturned the furniture in the living room, shouting. Castiel had a feeling that Luke had been drinking.

“Where are they! You stole them from me!” 

Sitting in the dark bathroom was the hardest thing he had ever done. He felt helpless.

When he heard the hard yells of: “police, get down on the ground!”

He got closer to the door. But he waited until he heard the soft knock on the door of one of the police officer before getting out.

The living room was a mess. It felt like Luke had pissed on all of Joshua's things. And the large window that had spread glass all-over the room as it had shattered.

He gave his statement. 

And then closed of the room as well as he could. Then he packed a bag and went to sleep the last hours in his store.

He would face Bobbys wrath the next day.

At the store he remembered his phone. 

Dean had really tried to call him. 21 missed calls. Around 10 texts.

Almost all was one version or a other of: “Cas for fuck sake call me!”

The last one was:

“I am coming home”

That was the thing that broke Castiel. He started sobbing in the sofa in the backroom. 

 

The first thing he did that morning was to call his insurance company. They wanted the police report and pictures. So he walked by the police station and asked to have a copy when they got the time. They would send it to his company directly.

It was Sunday so he didn't need to open the store. But he really needed to fix his window.

So he called Bobby.

“Castiel. Do I need to be worry?”

“Not at the moment… Luke was angry last night. He broke one of my living room windows and trashed my living room while I hid in the bathroom. The police got him and he didn't even see me. Lucky for me he was drunk as a skunk. So didn't chase me.”

“For fuck sake boy!”

“I need some help boarding up the wall until Monday when I can call someone to fix my window. Do you know someone?”

“I will call around. And the stuff?”

“I will throw the trash in the back of my truck.”

“That bad?”

“That is what my memory is telling me. I will clean up and ask Emma to prioritize drawing up a plan for my living room.”

“Have you called Dean?”

“No. I got a text that he is coming home. But I don't want he to worry if he is driving baby”

“He will be pissed.”

“If he was here I would consider calling him. But he isn't here. He can't help me now, when I need someone. I will go home now, Bobby. I'll talk to you later. Thank you for helping me.”

“Castiel. Do you need someone to follow you?”

“I'll be fine. Bobby.”

“Call Ellen if you change your mind.”

“I will”

 

It was as he remembered. Utter chaos.

He went to the garage. Gloves, a spade, buckets, trash bags and everything else he could need. 

First he used his phone to take some photos. Just if his insurance company needed it.

Then he started. One bucket for glas. A trash bag for the sad remains of his and Joshua's things. The smashed television and other former electronic devices was easy to put on the back of the truck.

His truck was full and he was piling up bags on the outside when a couple of cars drow up his driveway. Bobby, Ellen was the leaders over the ones that they had called in.

“What the hell!” They saw the smashed window and Castiel's full car.

Ellen stroked his cheek before going inside the empty shell of a room. 

“You have worked hard I believe. Boys fix the window.”

She and Castiel continued cleaning. One of Ellen's workers came an hour later with snacks and drinks to everyone. Some of the guys wifes showed up bringing food.

A couple took his car and all of the junk and somehow dumped it on the dump.

Bobby had made one of the others take Luke's car to Kelly. 

When the last person had gone the room was sealed, clean and they had laid the foundation for the renovation.

Castiel was thankful for living in a small community that really cared. He didn't have to face this alone. 

Here he belonged.

 

The next day after he closed his store he had company at his cabin. Dean was sitting on his porch.

He parked the car. To meet… his friend.

“Hello Dean.”

Dean was in his face the second after. Feeling his black eye. Trying to see if Castiel was more hurt.

“Goddamit, Cas.” 

“I will be fine, Dean”

“Someone broke into your home!”

“Yeah, and I hid in the bathroom as I waited for the police. Safe and sound.”

“Was he a homophobic idjiit?”

“That he was. But he had laid the blame on me because his wife and son left him. That I had turned his son bi-sexual. And other bullshit.”

Dean's hands hadn't left Castiel's face. Castiel felt how a blush was rising.

He let his hand pat Dean's. Before he tried to break free.

“I am alright, he is in the police station. Jody and Donna won't let him out.”

“Cas…” Dean grabbed Castiel's hand.

“Dean, even if you were gone a long time, I haven't fallen out of love with you. If you don't feel the same or is uncertain, please let me have some space.”

Dean didn't move. Castiel wanted to run.

“Cas. I… need you. I have always felt like it is more than just friendship between us. That's why I ran. Not my proudest moment. But I have tried to feel if I want more. I needed to speak with Sam.”

“And he said?”

“It took me three weeks to find my courage to speak about you and everything. He ripped me a new one for running away. I have had feelings for men prior but this is the only time I am even close to act on them.”

“But this is bigger than acting on my sexual feelings. Because if I act now. It will be this. We will be growing old together. I was just divorced, so I panicked. My feelings were overwhelming. I had to get a way to feel if it was real.”

“I will say it again. I don't demand anything of you. If you need time you will get however long you need.”

Dean kissed him. Soft and trying. 

Castiel snapped. He backed up Dean against a post on the porch and devourer him. Dean groaned and grabbed Castiel's hair to pull him closer. 

This was more than Castiel ever had imagined. This was pure bliss.

But Castiel needed to give Dean space, before it went to far. 

So he slowed down the kiss to small kisses and pecks. Then he looked Dean in the eyes. 

Dean seemed as taken as Castiel felt. 

“Are you alright?”

“Alright? Damn Cas I feel like I should swoon.”

“I want to court you, if you would like that. If you feel ready.”

“Court? I am not an Jane Austen character you know. But yeah, I would like to go on a date with you. Later. I feel that I want…” He started kissing Castiel's neck. “... you to besmirch my honour.”

“As you wish, my lady”

“Hey…”

Castiel attacked, a hungry kiss silenced Dean before he pressed his body against Dean's. Deans response was addicting. Dean seemed to love whenever Castiel took the lead. That bore good for the future.

Their rock hard groins ground together in this fantastic combination of being satisfaction and unsatisfactoriness. It was almost all they wanted.

Almost.

“Cas. Fuck we need to slow down. I am about to come in my pants.”

“That would be terribly uncomfortable. Do you want to continue or do you want to wait?”

Dean's tortured groan was doing wonders for Castiel's ego.

“Please…”

“Please, what Dean? Do you want me to finish you of or do you want to stop?”

“Don't stop…”

“Come with me” Castiel took Dean's hand and lead him to the back porch. It had a nicer view. He made Dean stand before one of the chairs as he unbuckled Dean's belt and pants. All the while kissing Dean. He would make the most of this. 

As soon as Dean was bare Castiel made him sit. Castiel sunk down on his knees as he stared into Dean's eyes. Dean looked with anticipation as Castiel took him in his mouth. Giving head was thankfully something Castiel enjoyed or he really enjoyed giving pleasure. And Dean seemed to enjoy himself. Every little sound and moment that Dean unknowingly made gave Castiel a sense of power. He loved how Dean took hold of his hair. 

“Cas… I'm coming”

Cas continued. And soon the bitter thick spend flooded his mouth. He had barely swallowed it before Dean pulled him up to kiss him. 

Dean pulled him in his lap. “Thank you.” His back was against Dean's chest. As he looked out over the lake Dean freed him and whispered sweet compliments in his ears as he helped Castiel to release.

“Fuck, Cas. I'm never gonna let you go.”

With the straight face Castiel replies:

“Never gonna let me down and desert me?”

“Seriously! Rick Ashley?”

“Sorry, I couldn't help myself. But you know that I have loved you for over 20 years. However you want to share your life with me. I will be happy”

 

Within months they lived together with Emma in the cabin. Some in Eden needed some explaining before they got that they lived Together. But no-one minded to much. Ellen and Bobby would have their hides if they did. 

 

_ “So this is my life. It is better than I could ever imagine.” _


End file.
